A Christmas Wish
by mazikeenpendragon
Summary: Josslyn can't stop thinking about what Trina said to her.


**A Christmas Wish**

**Summary: Josslyn can't stop thinking about what Trina said to her. **

Josslyn groaned as she set aside her journal, mind whirling as she fell back into her pillows. She couldn't stop thinking about what Trina had told her earlier today. Her best friend had been adamant that Dev had a crush on her. It left her confused. She wasn't upset by the idea, in fact, she could readily admit that when Trina had said she'd asked the boy in question, she'd been eager to know what he said. The whole thing made her feel a little bit guilty. Oscar had only died seven months ago. What did it say about her if she already had feelings for someone else? Because as she thought about it, she did. Dev had proven more compassionate than he let on. When he hugged her back in July when she was crying on the bridge, that had been proof of it.

As the months had went on, she'd seen it more and more. Dev worrying about her when she went back to school back in September, how adamant he'd been about how he'd never wanted to make things worse for her before he'd attempted to run away, the way he'd gripped her hands. Then the way he'd understood why she told her father what was going on, and how good he'd been with Mike after Thanksgiving. Dev was truly a good guy.

A knock on her bedroom door interrupted her and she saw Trina's smiling face peer in at her before the girl walked into the room and jumped onto bed.

"Your mother told me I could find you up here." Trina told her, handing the blonde a cup. "She asked me to bring this up to you."

Josslyn smiled and took the mug of warm apple cider into her hands, taking a sip. "Thanks." She said before setting the mug onto her bedside table. "I've been thinking about what you said earlier today."

Trina raised her eyebrow at that. "Really?" She asked with a smirk.

The other girl rolled her eyes. "Don't look so smug." She scoffed.

She laughed and smiled in amusement. "I'm sorry, Joss. It's just..you're one of the smartest students in our grade. How did you not realize the way he looks at you?"

Josslyn gazed down at her lap, playing with a loose thread on her blanket. "Well to be honest, I didn't even want to recognize my own feelings." She confessed so softly that Trina was sure she wouldn't have heard it if she hadn't been sitting on the bed.

Trina reached out to squeeze her friend's hand comfortingly. "You know Oscar would want you to be happy, right? You aren't betraying Oscar by falling for Dev. He wanted you to live your life. Your spirit is part of why he fell for you."

Slender arms threw themselves around Trina in response and the girl buried her head into her shoulder. "I know." She responded softly, pulling away. "It's just...terrifying. Oscar was my first boyfriend. It sounds stupid, but I never thought I'd feel so deeply about another person so sooner after..."

Trina smoothed her friend's hand gently. "Do you think you might love Dev?" She asked curiously.

Josslyn shrugged helplessly. "I definitely love him as a friend. And..I think I could love him romantically." She groaned. "It's just so complicated, though. How would Dev and I even date? We'd have to keep it secret because my mom and dad would lose it if they found out. It would definitely cause tension between my dad and Sonny because he was uncomfortable with me living with Dev to begin with. Not to mention, everyone has to believe that Dev is Sonny's cousin. How does that work out?"

Trina rolled her eyes at that. "Cam and I could help you and Dev date. Besides, Sonny's your stepfather. You would have no blood relation to Dev, even if he _was _Sonny's cousin. And it's not like you grew up with Dev the way you did Krissy or Molly. Dev came into your life a few months ago."

"You make it sound so simple."

"It's not about being simple, Josslyn. It's about the fact that I want you to be happy. You've been a ghost since Oscar died. Every time you were happy, even for a moment, you felt guilty. You've been acting older than you are. And I know why that is. I know how much you loved Oscar, but when I saw how you and Dev interacted, it was a relief. It reminds me so much of the old you."

The blonde reached out to hug Trina again. "I'm sorry for worrying you." She told her softly. "But I'm doing better."

"I know you are. And I'm glad. And I'm not saying that you need to do anything about how you feel right this second. But..at least think about it. Anyway, I should get going. I promised my mom I'd be home an hour ago." With that, Trina stood, brushing off her pants before walking out of the room, leaving Josslyn there lost in thought.

Josslyn's gaze turned to the picture on her nightstand of she and Oscar before the alternative dance. She swallowed the lump in her throat at how young and happy they both looked, unaware that by the time the next year rolled around, one of them would be dead and the other would be a grieving mess. The very idea of putting her heart on the line again was beyond frightening, but she couldn't deny that she wanted to do it. Dev made her feel like herself again and she missed that. She felt willing to take the risk. Even if he rejected her, she'd undoubtedly been through so much worse in the last few years.


End file.
